1. I know there are a lot of people out there who seriously dislike you...and we've had our good and bad moments too. But I realized that every time I was ever upset with you was only because of what you did to other people...which is honestly wrong of me. Because...when it comes to how you've treated me, you've seriously always been awesome. You're a really really good friend and I'm honestly so happy that we got much closer this year. you are honestly such a good listener and I don't care if everyone hates you because you've seriously been so good to me...even though you really had no reason. Who knows, maybe the only reason you give a crap is because you're nosy as all hell, but I don't even care what your reasons are, because...I don't know...how else can I say it? you've really been a wonderful friend to me, and I hope we make even more memories this year :) I'm gonna miss you after graduation.
2. You...make me really really sad. Honestly I don't even know what to say...There have been more moments than I can count where I've seriously looked for any semblance of good left in you....and I can't find it. I wish that things weren't so weird between us, but I still can't get over how much you've changed...and I never will. You were so amazing...I mean honestly I thought you were like the greatest person in the whole entire world and there's no doubt in my mind that if you had never changed we might still be going out XD Just because you really meant that much to me...but you had to become this...stuck up...elitist...terrible person...and it makes me sick every time I hear you make some kind of judgmental comment. I want to forgive and forget so badly...but I can't...maybe it's selfish...but I will never be able to forgive the fact that you ruined yourself and stole my best friend from me. Either way...thanks for all the memories...you were really such an important person in my life...and I do believe that somewhere deeeeeeeeeeeeeeep deeeeeeeeeeeeeep down, the old you still exists, because even though I thought you had completely forgotten about us...you said you still remember...and that you would never tell any of my secrets...and that made me really happy...so much so that I almost wanted to cry...because my best friend still exists somewhere deep down....I just wish I had had the chance to tell him goodbye....
3. I'm really unsure what to think of you...and honestly I'm scared for you. We've known each other for quite some time and everyone kids around that you have a thing for me, which I kind believe since you send me the weirdest, vaguest text messages... I feel really bad though. I honestly don't like you like that...I do like you though! But I don't know...a part of me wonders if its only out of pity...is that evil? I don't know...I just feel like you have really serious personal problems but you won't tell anyone...why are you so closed off from everyone? I wish I could help you...but you won't confide in anyone....I'm sorry :/
4. LOL I can't believe I'm dedicating one of these to you...mad random. Yeah so I have a crush on you but you're probably like really old and that's like unbelievably creepy and gross...but I don't even like you...I just need and outlet for my emotions haha...and I know everyone is judging me like crazy but the only reason I feel that way at all is because you're the first person to be nice to me in such a long long time...you've walked me in from the field after drill...you gave me a pep-talk before the competition...you always tell me I do a great job and you always say goodnight before you leave! (and I don't see you doing that to any other drum majors~) I mean...Idk I have a thing for people who are talented at percussion anyway...haha XD but you're too nice to me! Stop giving me false hope maaaan.
5. Omg you jerk<3 I love you and you're my best friend and I would seriously like take a bullet for you but I'm so fucking angry because I hardly ever see you anymore now that you're in college and it sucks D: But I'm terrified...If I really go to college next year...I'll never see you again...and I want to cry at that thought...I can't deal with that...I seriously can't. Thinking about it puts me on the brink of a panic attack...I can't live without you best fraaaaaaand :(
6. I'm really glad that we're cool again and we can joke around just like old times...there's just something that is seriously fun about being mean to you! :D Even though what happened between us was beyond fucked up and weird...And I wish it never happened...and I still kind of think you're secretly a psychopath and would never ever ever date you ever. Okay...that's kind of mean but it's true lol but, you're a fun guy and I'm glad we're cool...so yeah :D
7. Hmm. What can I say to you? other than...I'm so shocked at the way things have turned out. You were like the first crush I ever had (for like 4 frikin years -________-) And I was like obsessed with you. And there were some moments when you were a total dick to me, but others where you were a genuinely sweet guy. And honestly, there were minutes where I seriously thought you actually liked me too, but I doubt it....either way though, I don't think things could have worked any better for us. We're really chill and I'm glad to call you my friend. I apologize for making our entire teenage lives really awkward between one another, but I am really glad we ended up as friends :) you are actually also really good at giving advice....and you've been there for me....so thanks for that.
p.s. I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DATED NATALIA. WTF WAS THAT!?!?
8. I am so, unbelievably, outrageously angry at you. WHAT THE HELL. I haven't spoken to you in like...over a month and I kind of never want to talk to you ever again. I'm glad I never ever see you >.> but seriously you just...I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAY. YOU MADE ME MISERABLE and I know you didn't do it on purpose because you're such a fucking derp....BUT STOP BEING SUCH A GODDAMN MAMA's BOY AND STEP UP.
A few weeks ago I was about to call you...and I stopped myself..I was like...Why on earth would I keep trying for someone who obviously couldn't give any less of a shit about me??? WHAT THE HECK AM I DOING? And That was the moment I pretty much decided everything we ever had was an utter waste of my life. THANKS SO MUCH~!!!!!!
I did so much for you...and this is how you repay me? I'm not sure if I'm more disgusted with you or myself. UGHHHH. I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN! EVER!!!!!!!!!
(you aren't even worth a number). I have one thing to say to you:
GO FUCK YOURSELF
No, seriously, please do because I hate your fucking guts. I could write you a million and one letters about how much I FUCKING hate you. You disgust me. I want to vomit at the thought of you and how fucking mean you are. NO WONDER YOU'RE MISERABLE: YOU ARE A HORRIBLE HUMAN BEING. I can't believe I was so fucking nice to you. I JUST WANT TO SCREAM> I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was SO nice...I poured my heart out to you when you treated me like complete shit and you took it, ripped it in half and spit on it. You went from being the nicest guy...like...ever...to treating me like I wasn't even a human being.
FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU.
I seriously want to walk up to you and punch you in the face. It's a good thing you're dropping band because:
1. YOU FUCKING SUCK
2. I PROBABLY WOULD HAVE ACTED ON THOSE DESIRES EVENTUALLY.
You are just...unbelievably disgusting and horrible and mean. and the worst part, is that not only did I take it and allow it, but I was NICE to you...SO FUCKING NICE to you even when you were absolutely horrible to me. HOW FUCKING DARE YOU. I'm sorry, but I've had 5 relationships and NO ONE has ever treated me as badly as you.
and you know what? if you realized you didn't like me or whatever. YOU SHOULD HAVE FUCKING TOLD ME. and it makes me...I don't know...the thought that you just "decided" you didn't like me anymore. if it was because I wasn't pretty enough...because I wasn't thin enough. It made me want to hurt myself. AND I BLAMED MYSELF. I BLAMED MYSELF BECAUSE YOU WERE TOO MUCH OF A FUCKING PUSSY TO BREAK THINGS OFF.
Who knows, maybe that isn't what happened...maybe your "I'm not good enough" bullshit was true...I guess I'll never know.
But either way, it still ended up with me blaming myself, hating myself...wanting to hurt myself all because of your selfish actions.
and I'll be honest, everytime I tell someone the story and they say "omg what an asshole! No one should treat YOU like that sarah! I'm gonna go kick his ass!" It makes me really, really fucking happy.
I don't want you to be miserable, I don't want you to be sad.
But, there's nothing I want in this world more than for you to know how fucked up and horrible you are. I want you to feel exactly what I felt. I want you to feel guilty and I want you to apologize.
And I know that's never going to happen, so I'll just take solace in the fact that you really taught me such a valuable lesson!
I'm never ever going to trust anyone again.
All.
because.
of.
you.
I was SO nice...I poured my heart out to you when you treated me like complete shit and you took it, ripped it in half and spit on it. You went from being the nicest guy...like...ever...to treating me like I wasn't even a human being.
FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU.
I seriously want to walk up to you and punch you in the face. It's a good thing you're dropping band because:
1. YOU FUCKING SUCK
2. I PROBABLY WOULD HAVE ACTED ON THOSE DESIRES EVENTUALLY.
You are just...unbelievably disgusting and horrible and mean. and the worst part, is that not only did I take it and allow it, but I was NICE to you...SO FUCKING NICE to you even when you were absolutely horrible to me. HOW FUCKING DARE YOU. I'm sorry, but I've had 5 relationships and NO ONE has ever treated me as badly as you.
and you know what? if you realized you didn't like me or whatever. YOU SHOULD HAVE FUCKING TOLD ME. and it makes me...I don't know...the thought that you just "decided" you didn't like me anymore. if it was because I wasn't pretty enough...because I wasn't thin enough. It made me want to hurt myself. AND I BLAMED MYSELF. I BLAMED MYSELF BECAUSE YOU WERE TOO MUCH OF A FUCKING PUSSY TO BREAK THINGS OFF.
Who knows, maybe that isn't what happened...maybe your "I'm not good enough" bullshit was true...I guess I'll never know.
But either way, it still ended up with me blaming myself, hating myself...wanting to hurt myself all because of your selfish actions.
and I'll be honest, everytime I tell someone the story and they say "omg what an asshole! No one should treat YOU like that sarah! I'm gonna go kick his ass!" It makes me really, really fucking happy.
I don't want you to be miserable, I don't want you to be sad.
But, there's nothing I want in this world more than for you to know how fucked up and horrible you are. I want you to feel exactly what I felt. I want you to feel guilty and I want you to apologize.
And I know that's never going to happen, so I'll just take solace in the fact that you really taught me such a valuable lesson!
I'm never ever going to trust anyone again.
All.
because.
of.
you.
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