Just Sleep

I. am. so. sick. of. everything.
especially school
and exams
and anything that requires energy.

I have so much fucking shit to do
and everyone seems to just be coasting by as the year comes to a close.
I'm sick of everything.
I want to take a walk in nature and just like....forget everything.
It's been so long since I was just BORED.
I long for boredom
or atleast sleep.
Just Sleep.

You don't need to point out my flaws, I think I'm capable of that, thanks.

I guess this is just like "be a total bitch to sarah week"
I know that sounds whiney and immature but it's how I feel.
I just don't uderstand why everyone can't just leave me the fuck alone.
I'm exhausted. I'm working 4 days a week, going to mack and mabel rehearsal every day and still trying to balance school. Okay fine, maybe I'm not doing a good job in any of them, maybe I'm just a super duper extremely shitty person, but I DON'T FUCKING CARE. If you think telling me about everything I do wrong is helpful IT ISN'T.

I'm an idiot for wanting to go to the college of my choice? Oh you're right, It's not like I've done extensive research on animal science degrees, I should just go to the college that SOUNDS more impressive thank you, I didn't realize.
I should dress better for school? You're right, I guess I'll wake up at 4:30 instead of 5. Sorry my sweatpants offend you
I suck at being a waitress? Wow thanks I didn't realize that from the $2 tip I just got.
I need to put "more energy" into my song? Oh sorry, it's just that I only got 2 hours of sleep last night, not form being on facebook or tumblr or any stupid teenage shit, from actually WORKING and STUDYING.
I'm absent too much? Oh I'm sorry I'll just go back in time and erase the extremely unpleasant immune system and skin problems I have. Sorry that my disease is an inconvenience to you.
I'm a terrible member of NHS? Well you're lucky I don't have a snarky reply to this one, YOU CAN JUST GO FUCK YOURSELF.

Lonely, But Alone

I don't know why I feel so especially depressed today....
all I want to do is curl up in a ball and sleep
I feel so lonely
I want someone to come over and make me feel better
but I don't even have the energy to smile or laugh or have anything close to a good time
so I'll just curl up in a ball and sleep
and hope that I feel just a little better tomorrow.

I'm sorry

if I'm not acting normal lately
if I'm being a bad friend/person
if I'm not exactly a fun person to spend time with lately

I'm angry and miserable for absolutely no reason. I'm lonely, yet even the thought of spending time with other people makes me exhausted and everything pisses me off. I just want to crawl in bed and do absolutely nothing. I want a hug, and at the same time I just want to be alone.
I'm really hoping it's just pms, because if it doesn't wear off soon I don't know what I'm going to do.

My obsession

with weight is getting to be too much even for me.
I spend hours looking at thispiration and pro ana/mia tumblrs
I think I'm even starting to scare myself.
But I would do anything to look like that...

I can't remember the last time I felt so lonely.

All I do is go to school then work then sleep and repeat repeat repeat. I don't even talk to anyone anymore.

fuck yea skin disorders

I have so many lotions and creams it's insane
and this is really fucking painful.
when my skin touches other skin or any material (Including my pants) it feels like it's gonna start bleeding.
OWWWWWWWWW
but the lotions work at least and I feel so much better ^_^

I also realized I have "I'm not good enough" senses. Yes. This IS what you're thinking. Anytime faggotmcfagfag turns up, even without seeing him my skin starts to crawl and I just hear "rooooooooooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaatmannnnn" in an eerie nasty voice in my head and my face is all



I see you walkin' round town like a gay ass bitch and I'm like:

Fuck You-oo-oo~