THANKS LILY~!!!

For Finding me this super cute, super accurate photo. I mean seriously, this is pretty much exactly how I feel word for word.




YOU ARE SUCHA DUMBSHIT OMFG.

So yeah. That's that.
Also...I've noticed something lately.
I'm not usually like
But I've suddenly taken on Lily's quality of irrational hate for other people. Not all people. Just certain people. And I feel bad, I really do...because....some people really have done such nice things for me...
Idk. I'm just a H8TER and H8TERS GONNA H8.
There are just certain people who are seriously pissing me off lately. Like this one girl, who I have no problem with when I see her face to face, but online she's just such a....cyber-attention-whore. And it really bothers me, even though it shouldn't.
Anyway. I have to go get my first aid supplies together and mentally prepare for tomorrow :3

I can't.

I don't know.
I can't.
I need someone to slap me across the face in a superkoreandramalike fashion with novus playing in the background while it rains.
because I need to wake the **** up.
I'm so sick of walking around like a zombie, always miserable and angry.
I'm so sick of people forgetting my birthday and treating my like shit and making me feel like I'm less important the the goddamn SAT's.

I can't.
I honestly feel like crawling into a little hole and never ever coming out. And I know I'm being whiny and selfish and unappreciative but I really don't give a flying fruit right now (I'd type the word but I'm typing this in 8th period.... HI TECH GUYYYZ~)



I never want to be in love again. I don't want to get married, I don't want to go on dates, I don't even want to go to prom.
I don't want any of it. It's too much fucking effort.

Why Am I in Such A Bad Mood Today?

I must be PMSing or something.
I have no idea why, but since I woke up this morning I've literally just wanted to kill everyone, and I feel super over-emotional about everything.

I want to play dragon age while curling up in bed with my soft clemson blanket while listening to seth macfarlane sing me to sleep.

*sigh....

You're A Very Angry Little Boy

And a pathetic FUCKING excuse for a man.

and I hate you.

I want to light these stupid flowers on fire
and smash this glass turtle to pieces.

why are you so mean?
what the hell did I do to you that was SO horrible?
all I ever did was try to care about you and tell you that I thought you were good.
and all you ever did what tell me I shouldn't and that I was stupid and didn't understand.
Is this really what I deserve? Why are you being so mean? What the hell made you so angry? I'm SO sorry for being nice. SO sorry for CARING about you.
You make it like you have the worst life on the entire earth, but if you get so upset over the fact that someone actually attempted to love you, I honestly don't know whether to believe you.
How could you? How could you trick me like this?

Dear Dumbshit.

I hope you know that it's midnight and I should be doing my lab report, but instead, I'm sitting at my desk listening to songs about being betrayed by douchebags like you and crying. And I'm so sick of it. I need to just get over you.

But the worst part is....
that I don't want to.

I hope you realize what you've done.

I'm trying.

I'm trying so hard to forget
I eat ice cream
take a bath
watch movies
do homework
nothing helps
he's all I think about
all I want to do....all I ever do is cry
then sleep so I don't have to cry any more.

How Could You?

You said you sat down and thought about it. When were you going to let me know about your grand conclusion? Were you ever going to let me know that you've decided to erase everything that happened between us from your life? When were you going to tell me??

How could you? How could you pretend to care so much and then just decide that you didn't want this anymore? I'm not a toy! You can't just play with me and then decide you don't want me anymore, especially when you claim that this is all for MY BENEFIT.
How dare you? don't you understand that if I spent 3 hours crying myself to sleep that this OBVIOUSLY ISN'T GOOD FOR ME?
How could you?
How could you make me care about you so goddamn much and then just decide that you don't?

This Summer in a Nutshell

SUCKED.

I mean...honestly...maybe it's just the stress of going back to school and everything (this time last year was when I basically started falling apart) but I honestly haven't been this miserable in a long time. I feel like crawling into a hole and never coming out. I'm absolutely terrified of everything. I feel like there's so much pressure on my shoulders and I can't handle it. I'm not good enough...I can't do it,I honestly can't. Everyone is expecting so much from me and without even meaning to do so I've already failed them. More than anything...I'm failing myself...I just feel like a complete screw up and if I could, I'd just leave for college tomorrow so that I don't have to deal with any of this. I used to be so excited for senior year...now I'm just terrified and anxious. This is the time when I wish I wasn't in any honors/ap/ib classes and that I didn't do any extra curriculars. Life would be some much easier....and so...not scary. :(