Yay.

So...I'm pretty sure me and Teddy have AIDS. No, not really but I seriously feel like I'm dying right now T______T Ugh I feel absolutely horrible. I went to the doctor and they said it's just a virus that I have to suffer through. I'm absolutely miserable though...I can barely move. I've had a fever for days and I get nose bleeds every few hours because my nose is so dry. I'm a disgusting mess. And what the hell am I gonna do about the flower ceremony? I can't barely talk. But I'll just sleep a lot more and pray that I magically feel better in the morning.

On a semi-related note.

I really wanted to wait until I wasn't angry anymore to write this...and as much it might seem like I still am, I'm honestly not.

I'm really not mad...about anything anymore. If anything, I should be mad at myself for not handling things better. But to be completely honest, as shitty as everything came out I did give 100%. I just think...that honestly people need to learn to shut the fuck up. Me included. I honestly can't understand why there was so much drama involving the ceremony. I swear to god there isn't an honest person out there. EVERYONE is fucking two faced. they all act nice to someone to their face and the second they're gone they talk shit about them. I'm so done with that. I never asked for this bullshit, I didn't want any of that. All I wanted to do was do a good job on the ceremony and if I haven't I'm sorry..I really am. But I have been working my ass off for this, whether or not that shows in the results and I honestly don't feel that I deserve to be put down constantly, especially when people decide to complain before they offer to help. I just think it's sad how self centered people are today...and that they can't even pretend to get along. It's all drama...all the time. I'm not saying that people shouldn't complain...I complain, we ALL complain...and sometimes complaints are WELL justified. And it's a great way to relieve stress. But there is a difference between complaining and BITCHING. And honestly, yeah the flower ceremony is stressful and it's not perfect, but it doesn't deserve to get all the negative energy from everything that is going on in everyone's life. I don't even know if I'm making sense anymore....The point is. I think everyone's emotions are running high and tension is crazy. I just wanted this to be fun....but I guess that was too much to wish for.