I never did, but I used to have this little bit of self-confidence that I kind of kept in reserve in case of emergencies, but I guess I've used it all up.
Ever since I started getting sick...I just feel worse and worse. I'm not even healthy, I can't even stand to look at myself in the mirror, why would some one else want to?
I don't understand the word self-conscious. To be conscious is awake and aware. So self-conscious is just to be aware of oneself, right? Then why does it hurt so much?
These boys....people....what's happened.... Their betrayal and treatment of me, combined with my own demons, has completely destroyed me.
I can't even bear to look at myself anymore.
I want to break the necklace, smash the turtle and burn those stupid fucking flowers.
The sad thing is, that when it's all done, I won't hate myself any less.
P.S. Happy 70th Post
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