Sinking.

S.O.S. S.O.S.

Save me...I feel like I'm drowning.

Let me start off by saying what many of you already know: For me, this year has been the ABSOLUTE WORST EVER.

But, the past month has been...better...at least a little bit.

Now, however, it feels like things are slowly shifting back into their general state of shittiness. I thought once theatre was over, the majority of major stresses for this year would end...but I feel like things have just gotten worse and worse since the show ended.

People feel on edge...there was a lot of love in the musical, believe it or not, I got really close to a lot of people, and I really miss seeing them everyday (yes...I know what you're thinking...and yeah I miss touching his hair too.). And even though the long nights were exhausting...it was actually really fun and exciting sometimes...and there was a weird sense of pleasure in doing something so rewarding.

Now everything is just....bleh. Everyone is stressed and sick and worried about the budget cuts...everyone is always in a bad mood or complaining about something (me included). Not to mention my own personal problems with...uh...christmas lights.

I also...feel a lot of personal failure. I honestly feel like I'm just a big **** up. Everything I do is "wrong". My GPA is in the toilet, I'm disappointing my teachers and everyone around me...And today...I tried to take a nap when I got home and got YELLED AT. (WTF PEOPLE. I WAS EXHAUSTED, I HAD A HEADACHE, I WASN'T DOING COCAINE AND FILMING PORN, I WAS TAKING A GODDAMN NAP.) And my mom was like "I rushed home so you could sit on your ass and do NOTHING. I THOUGHT YOU HAD HOMEWORK." To which I responded that I did but I was tired and in pain (etc, etc.) Then she said "You know what, I'm not making the effort for you anymore...if I had known, I would have just stayed at the office."
UHM OKAY. FIRST OF ALL: I didn't even get there until for 4:30 because of our APA meeting so we didn't leave early in the first place. SECONDLY: DO YOU KNOW WHERE WE WENT AFTER HER WORK? SPRAY TANNING. I WAITED IN THE CAR WHILE SHE WENT TANNING. HOW THE HELL IS THAT "RUSHING HOME FOR ME!?!?

Sorry for the rant...but...ugh I just feel like crap and I honestly wish people would just treat each other a little better...I want to be a little kid again...when everything was easy and everyone was nice to me....