Can't Sleep Can't Sleep Can't Sleep

Okay, I have insomnia tonight. and it's only 12. Now I know what you're thinking "What the fuck, that's like 2 hours before I even get in bed" But I always have an early bedtime...I always sleep early...sometimes even 10:30 when I'm really lucky. I love sleeping

But tonight I can't
I can't because I have this absolute rush of hatred and disgust and excitement and happiness all wrapped up in one big bundle of emotion and I feel so guilty and yet so much happier than I've been in a long time.
I don't want you. But I do care about you and I want you to know
and there's an evil part of me that wants you to want me so you can feel how I felt for all those months....and yet the last thing I want to do is hurt anyone....

And worst of all, I can't help the fact that even after all this time I still really like talking to you :)
But I won't do anything to hurt anyone....
I just want everyone to be happy....
Love is such a fucked up thing.